Nick R Thomas - A Public Speaker's Blog

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Tuesday, March 23

A great dinner spoiled by a rotten vote of thanks

by Nick R Thomas A.L.A.M. (Public Speaking) on Tue 23 Mar 2010 08:58 PM GMT

A club that shall remain anonymous!

Regular readers may have noticed that it is rare for me not to name an organisation that I have recently spoken to. When it does happen, it is usually because there was some problem at the meeting and I do not wish to embarrass that club or society.

A few months ago, I delivered my talk Life as a Freelance Comedy Writer following a dinner at a particular club in the South East. I spoke to a male audience numbering around 20 for the requested length of time.

Then came the 'vote of thanks'.

Two years ago, in a popular post, I blogged about what a vote of thanks should and most definitely should not consist of. I mentioned examples of both. You can read that post here.

I am afraid the vote of thanks on this occasion fell into the latter category. The member delivering it began by telling a long, old, shaggy dog story joke against speakers (badly). I knew it was old because I had first heard it on an 'Evening with...' cassette featuring a much-loved, retired British sportsman in the mid-90s (and I very much doubt if it was new even then). But he had told it about speakers in general and didn't direct it at one person whereas this club member rewrote it to be specifically about me. Then there was an inane comment about me not looking like a comedy writer. (So what do they look like then? The number that I have met over the past 20 years must run into three figures but I still couldn't tell you!) The negativity continued and I had to endure it.

Now I am used to occasionally receiving tongue-in-cheek comments after I have spoken. For example, sometimes I get a bit of ribbing because I am not always the world's quickest at returning calls to finalise arrangements for talks. Fair enough. And then there are the votes of thanks which are unfortunately-worded and contain inadvertent double meanings or backhanded compliments. I love those as much as the audience does and they often go into future talks as self-deprecating anecdotes. But this was different; the whole thing just seemed aggressive with very little in the way of the thanks which are surely the main reason for this type of short speech! (Even the fearsome speakers at Friars Club Roasts often have some appreciative comments after all the clever comic insults but this chap was no Don Rickles or Jeffrey Ross).

Now, even if I had bombed, it would still have been bad-mannered but one gentleman at my table said afterwards that my talk was the best they had had in a long time. A decent percentage of the audience bought copies of Nick R's in a Twist! and their Treasurer enclosed a note with the cheque saying that my presentation had been 'excellent'.

So what had I done to deserve this? True, I had been a few minutes late due to some appalling rail disruption but the lost time was soon made up. As I have mentioned, my talk lasted for the length of time they had requested. I had finished on a humorous story about an occasion when I spoke to members of a particular profession which a couple of the club members also belonged to but this had been discussed with the committee member who had given me a lift in and we had agreed that I should tell it; besides, in my stories, a great deal of the humour is directed at myself.

The person who had booked me wasn't present that evening so perhaps the speaker delivering the vote of thanks had not been made aware that I had helped this club out by standing in at short notice. And maybe he had also not been told that I had helped them out still further by allowing some haggling over an already modest fee because they are such a small organisation.

Then again, perhaps it made no difference and he just felt that he had to follow a comedy writer's speech by trying to be an entertainer himself. But non self-effacing humour is often best delivered with a twinkle in the eye.

I would love to have been able to tell you the name of the venue where the three-course dinner was easily one of the best that I have ever had at any speaking engagement since I started in 1996. And it is a pity that I cannot name the committee member who, because of the rail problems, gave me a lift from the nearest major station to the venue and back again afterwards - a round trip of nearly 30 miles. I was truly grateful to him. But this is a blog about public speaking and that graceless vote of thanks made the biggest impression on me that evening and I felt it needed to be written about here so, out of respect for the other members of the club, I will not say who they are or where they meet.

The rail journey home was depressing. The excellent meal, the amusing conversation, the good work the club does, the compliments on my talk, even the selflessness of the member who drove me all that way all seemed to be overshadowed by the rather humiliating experience of standing there while one member directed a lot of negative, attacking 'humour' at me, all under the guise of a vote of thanks and presumably for the 'entertainment' of an audience who apparently had enjoyed my own speech!

I am in no hurry to go back there.

Public Speaking Tip #355: Votes of thanks may only be very short speeches but they can make a lasting impression. At a function, the vote of thanks may be one of the last speeches the audience - and guest speaker - gets to hear before leaving. Any humour you include should be good-natured and tempered with some sincere thanks at the end.

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Monday, March 15

One new audience, one new venue

by Nick R Thomas A.L.A.M. (Public Speaking) on Mon 15 Mar 2010 05:29 PM GMT

Northbourne Townswomen's Guild, Bournemouth

There are about 10 Townswomen's Guilds in my home town of Bournemouth's Federation but when I started out as a speaker in 1996 there were probably more like twenty. Within a couple of years I had spoken to many of these, including the odd repeat booking, and to date I have spoken to most of them, some on three or four occasions but there are still some which have never booked me, despite my mailshots.

Why? Well, although they each may have maybe nine or ten speaking slots to fill each year (and this seems like a lot) I recently learned that there are around 100 speakers in the Bournemouth area alone so there is plenty of competition. Some speakers will be rebooked (as I have mentioned, there are some Bournemouth TGs which I have been back to several times) and some speakers may come from further afield or even from within the organisation itself. So it is possible to wait a long time before some local groups book me - if they ever do!

Public Speaking Tip #353: The fact that an organisation - even one on your own doorstep - may take a long time to book you isn't necessarily a reflection on your reputation as a speaker! There may simply be a great deal of competition. A speaker needs to be constantly marketing their services to as many potential audiences as possible to ensure a steady flow of bookings.

I had never spoken to Northbourne Townswomen's Guild before 17 September but the 35-or-so ladies proved to be an audience worth waiting for as I delivered my talk on the Power of Humour in Everyday Life. And they seemed to feel the same way about me, judging from this card which Mrs Bartlett sent me the next day:

Testimonial: "Thank you for your talk on humour. It was very much enjoyed by all".

Southern Electric (Portsmouth) Retirement Association

Then there are the clubs and societies which I speak to very regularly. In 2004, 2005 and 2006, the Southern Electric (Portmouth) Retirement Association booked me to speak to them, always in the month of August, and it was great to be asked back on 24 September, this time with my presentation on the Wits of the Algonquin Round Table.

Their previous meetings were held at the Southern Electric Sports and Social Club in Lower Drayton Lane in Cosham but they have now moved to a hall just off the High Street there - much closer to the station for me and no signing in to get a visitor's security pass.

Sometimes a move to a new venue seems to affect the 'feel' of an organisation but the 44 members of this association were once again a good, sharp audience with plenty of questions and friendly chat after my talk.

Public Speaking Tip #354: A speaker should be aware that (just occasionally) a change of regular meeting place can alter the atmosphere of an organisation. Generally, though, this makes little difference as the character of a club or society is derived from its people - not the building they meet in!

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