Nick R Thomas - A Public Speaker's Blog

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Thursday, August 13

May I speak...

by Nick R Thomas A.L.A.M. (Public Speaking) on Thu 13 Aug 2009 11:56 PM BST

In recent weeks, I have completed a large number of speaking engagements which I must tell you about. May 2009, however, was a relatively quiet month with 3 bookings.

Age Concern Pop-In, Somerford

On 11 May, I delivered My Life as a Freelance Comedy Writer for an audience of around 25 at the Age Concern Pop-In Centre, Somerford, Christchurch. Retirement groups vary enormously and different techniques may be required when speaking to them.

In 1998, I was booked to speak to an Arthritis Care group in Hampshire. It was quite a large group and there was another speaker on before me that evening and she was there to speak to them about heating - despite it being a very warm, late Spring evening. The trouble was, she lectured them - for 10 minutes. So now I had an elderly audience, many of them in pain, on a warm evening, who had just been patronised by the previous speaker.

Public Speaking Tip #322: Take a look at your presenting style: do you speak to your audience - or just at them?

It didn't look promising and I realised that right from the outset I would have to become a lot more outgoing than I normally was in those days. I decided to move much closer to the audience by speaking from in front of the table, not behind it. There was nothing reserved about me any more (although if I heard the recording of it now it would probably sound that way but back then...)

And this 'friendly attack' really worked. The audience listened, laughed and enjoyed it. I had been told that other speakers usually only managed to hold their attention for about 20 minutes but I did nearly twice that and got the impression that I could have gone on longer. It was a big success and I had learned a new approach which I would use again and again from then onwards.

And this was how I spoke at the High Cross Church Hall Somerford talk on a very hot afternoon and, despite some distractions, it went well, which was good - the last thing a speaker to a pensioners' group wants is for the bingo to be the high point of the meeting!

Public Speaking Technique #323: Speaking engagements sometimes require a very outgoing delivery right from your opening sentence, even if this does not feel like your natural style. The results can be well worth the 'personality change!' And it does move you forward and make you that little bit more extrovert at every presentation from then onwards.

Hythe and District Probus

On 14 May, I was back at the Dibden Golf Centre for my fourth talk in under three years for the Hythe and District Probus. I listened to their AGM and then managed to incorporate some tailored references from this into my talk about Patrick Campbell. Overall, though, the meeting was tinged with sadness as their Speaker Secretary, Clive Young, had died suddenly a few days earlier.

Clive booked me three times, including for this latest talk, and I always found him interesting to speak to, whether on the phone or over lunch at the venue. After my Groucho Marx talk in December 2007, he sent me a super testimonial letter. I think he will be very much missed by this club.

Public Speaking Tip #324: A club or society's Speaker Secretary can be a real friend in terms of repeat bookings, testimonials and recommendations to other organisations.

My thanks to their President for the lift from and back to Totton station.

The Probus Club of Southampton East

On 20 May, I spoke on My Life as a Freelance Comedy Writer to a Club that was new to me: Southampton East Probus who meet at the Mill House, Netley Abbey.

Public Speaking Tip #325: Once you get used to speaking on a regular basis, a new audience, especially one that is part of a wider organisation that you have had successes with, is a real treat.

There were around 35 at the meeting, the talk went very well and was followed by a good pub lunch. This club are a great bunch who enjoy their meetings - and their grub! Afterwards, their Speaker Secretary Brian Lamerton drove me back to the centre of Southampton and later sent me an email:

Testimonial: "Your talk was very much enjoyed by all".

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Monday, August 3

Thanks but no thanks: when to turn down a speaking engagement!

by Nick R Thomas A.L.A.M. (Public Speaking) on Mon 03 Aug 2009 11:11 PM BST

Night-mayor bureaucracy and bookings

Over the past few weeks, the new mayors of towns all over the UK have been taking office and embarking upon a year of around 500 engagements, most of which involve at least a short speech. The first of these is usually an address to a large audience at the mayor-making ceremony.

Back in May, I was contacted by the Human Resources department of a council in a major town in the South asking if I would be available to provide public speaking training for the Mayor-Elect ahead of their swearing-in. Having witnessed at first hand the difference that my coaching can make to a mayor at this sort of function, I was certain that I could help.

This was at the time when the news was dominated by the scandal over politicians' expenses and, even though these concerned MPs not councillors, I decided out of concern over public money in a town that I have an affinity for to price this as a private coaching session rather than a corporate training event. I quoted a price for three hours' coaching which also included giving an overview of the mayor's script. Needless to say, the council's HR people seemed very enthusiastic.

But then I received an email asking if I could supply a CV. And two references!

Now let's look at this, shall we? They may have been a Human Resources department but I wasn't actually seeking a job with them; I already have several, thank you very much: speaker, speechwriter, radio scriptwriter, comedy writer... And they had approached me. There are plenty of relevant biographical details on this website so why could they not simply copy them?

The same applies to references. There is no shortage of high-profile, unsolicited testimonials on this site.

But wait (as they say on teleshopping channel infomercials) - there's more! They also wanted copies of various insurance policies (not all essential) and for me to sign a finicky agreement and study their Diversity Policy (even though I'm not generally in the habit of regaling students with a stream of political incorrectness!) I never had all this nonsense when I was booked to deliver presentation skills training by somewhat larger organisations such as the Home Office and ICL Fujitsu but this was now becoming purely academic because I was fast losing interest. I gave the matter some serious thought over the weekend and emailed the HR people on the Monday morning to say that I was no longer interested and was actually rather offended. Their ridiculous red tape would have added hours of extra work for a low-paid engagement which would probably have been paid for weeks afterwards anyway. Sadly, this bureaucratic nonsense will probably become widespread; for one thing, it gives publicly-funded, box-ticking pen-pushers something to do!

Of course, I didn't lose sight of the fact that at the centre of this was a mayor who needed help with making their important speech but there is no shortage of competition in this game and I am sure that some other coach would have been happy to jump through the jobsworths' hoops to get the booking. Whether they could have achieved the same results at such a low cost to council tax payers is another matter.

I am not going to identify the town concerned out of consideration for the mayor who is entitled to confidentiality over their coaching needs and who might not have approved of (or even been aware of) the bureaucratic nonsense involved in arranging even a one-off coaching session but this does raise the whole business of turning down work - even in the current financial climate.

In my first years of speaking, I took on all manner of engagements, many for little or no return. As a result, I gained a lot of stage time in a short period and progressed pretty rapidly. Lisa Braithwaite recently wrote a very good blog post about pro bono speaking and even today, there are odd occasions when I will consider speaking on this basis, perhaps for an audition, a genuine business networking opportunity or for a charity whose work I support.

But the fee should not be the only consideration when deciding whether to accept a booking. Not that it's always easy. There have been times when I have been contacted by speaker secretaries who have seemed brusque or awkward on the phone but have turned out to be delightful in person (along with the rest of the audience) and I was glad that I went along.

But corporate after dinner speaking can be a bit of a minefield. I have never forgotten this article by Sunday Times journalist Jonathan Miller from years ago. Some professions are to be treated with extreme caution unless you are a very experienced comedian or much-loved celebrity. Based on what I have heard from other speakers, the police, armed forces and DSS managers can be very, er, challenging, perhaps because these are all occupations where feelings have to be kept in check all year when dealing with superiors and the public but may come spilling out at a hapless guest speaker when booze loosens inhibitions at an annual dinner. An agent once told me that software salespeople had been a nightmare for some of the speakers on their books.

This may sound snobbish but when approached about speaking at a company's annual 'do', it may be wise to ask whether you will be speaking to the just the management or workers from all levels within the company, some of whom may not be interested in your content!

Some enquiries just beggar belief. I was once approached by an agent who had received a call from a woman who wanted to book a speaker for a private dinner she was holding in a London restaurant. She had told the agent that she had never booked a speaker before and didn't quite know what was involved but she wanted someone good looking! (Well, that's me and most of the male UK speaking circuit out of the running then, darling! Perhaps a singer or male stripper would have been more appealing?) Nevertheless, this agent (who I can only assume had lost my photograph!) contacted me and asked if I could ring the client.

I reluctantly made the call and there was no rapport, especially when she asked me what after dinner speakers actually do! I explained that I am a radio comedy writer and that at dinners, as well as including anecdotes about writing for radio and appearing on TV, I use humorous observations and topical gags. This seemed to interest her and she mentioned something she had noticed which she thought was terribly funny about the media coverage of the 9/11 bombings and could I include that? Now, this was October 2001 - just weeks after the tragedy. The topical comedian's warning 'too soon!' didn't even begin to describe this woman's insensitivity (not that I would ever include materail about such a topic). Not only that, but from what she had told me about the demographic of the audience, I was pretty certain that even though there would only have been about 50 of them, some would have had friends or relatives in New York affected by the bombings.

I extricated myself from the conversation and called the agent back. Several hundred pounds wasn't bad back then for speaking to such a small audience but I wasn't remotely interested. Agents don't always like speakers turning down bookings but, to give this one her due, she was as appalled as I was by the client's request and said she wouldn't be dealing with her (and I believed her).

If you do inadvertently accept a dodgy engagement, these can at least provide material for your future bookings, as the story of the Quantity Surveyors' Dinner Debacle from my booklet Nick R's in a Twist! proves (and the retelling can be very therapeutic too!). And don't forget that my speaking career started as a result of a seemingly disastrous TV appearance which provided a funny and motivational story which I have told hundreds of times since.

Public speaking can generate its own material! Nevertheless, you do have to exercise a little care about what you get yourself into.

Public Speaking Tip #321: Progressing as a speaker means that you have to strike a balance between accepting bookings which stretch you and avoiding those which turn out to be nightmares - whatever the fee!

Oh, and here's an extra tip for any other mayor who might want me to coach them in public speaking: make the approach yourself or through a friend and not via your council's Human Resources department - you will find it's a lot less complicated for both of us and, as a result, I will be able to help you!

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Saturday, August 1

Speakers who care

by Nick R Thomas A.L.A.M. (Public Speaking) on Sat 01 Aug 2009 09:22 AM BST

Care for the Family Bereaved Parents' Network

I recently spent an interesting and moving afternoon working with Kath and Mike Coulson from Care for the Family, a charity founded by Rob Parsons, the well-known speaker and author on family issues. It is a Christian organisation but its resources are available to people of any faith or none. These resources include the Bereaved Parents' Network for which Kath and Mike are co-ordinators.

In 1994, their world was shattered when their son Philip died suddenly at the age of seven from a brain haemorrhage. For several years they have been running workshops across the UK to help other bereaved parents, ranging from those who have lost babies due to miscarriage or still-birth to others who are mourning the death of a middle-aged son or daughter. The loss may have been a few months before or decades ago but the parents are still struggling to cope with it. Attendances at these workshops vary from just into double figures to more than fifty.

Any one-day workshop must feature a variety of activities if it is to sustain interest and be worthy of people's time but the nature of these particular events and the varying numbers and circumstances of those attending mean that they require meticulous planning. The day therefore includes talks featuring facts, observations and personal anecdotes about the nature of grief and how to move forward (not 'on'). Props are used to illustrate crucial points and questions may also be dealt with during the course of these presentations but none of these talks is overly long There are also interviews, group work and feedback sessions. Power Point is used sparingly but to good effect. The theme of the day is Finding a New 'Normal'.

Public Speaking Tip #320: The desired outcome of a one-day workshop is far more achievable if you divide it into a variety of relevant elements for those attending, ranging from listening to short presentations to practical activities, such as group discussions, etc. And determining a definite theme for the day will help you to plan these.

The purpose of my spending time with Kath and Mike was to suggest some ideas for editing, fine-tuning and developing their content ahead of their next Day for Bereaved Parents but I did listen to each of them delivering presentation extracts. As I had suspected, both are good speakers: unhurried, making excellent use of stresses and pauses and coping well with some highly personal and emotional content. They are a fine example of the effectiveness of two-handed presentations. I was able to offer some suggestions but these workshops are becoming well-established and the content and delivery is already excellent. I hope my input was useful; I know I certainly learned a great deal from the Coulsons and their inspiring presentations. They are now also delivering talks to church groups about this work and have given a number of radio interviews - all good speaking experience.

And as this is a blog about communication, I really must recommend a very useful web page to you. Some people avoid those who they know have suffered a bereavement because they don't know what to say to them while others just tend to say the wrong things ('I know how you feel' being a common example). The Care for the Family website features a page (downloadable as a PDF) entitled 'How you can help bereaved parents - things we'd like you to know'. It consists of a list of 'dos' and 'don'ts'. Do take a look; much of the advice could help you to communicate more easily with any bereaved person.

Finally, my thanks to Kath and Mike for the Rob Parsons book.
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