Care for the Family Bereaved Parents' Network

I recently spent an interesting and moving afternoon working with Kath and Mike Coulson from Care for the Family, a charity founded by Rob Parsons, the well-known speaker and author on family issues. It is a Christian organisation but its resources are available to people of any faith or none. These resources include the Bereaved Parents' Network for which Kath and Mike are co-ordinators.

In 1994, their world was shattered when their son Philip died suddenly at the age of seven from a brain haemorrhage. For several years they have been running workshops across the UK to help other bereaved parents, ranging from those who have lost babies due to miscarriage or still-birth to others who are mourning the death of a middle-aged son or daughter. The loss may have been a few months before or decades ago but the parents are still struggling to cope with it. Attendances at these workshops vary from just into double figures to more than fifty.

Any one-day workshop must feature a variety of activities if it is to sustain interest and be worthy of people's time but the nature of these particular events and the varying numbers and circumstances of those attending mean that they require meticulous planning. The day therefore includes talks featuring facts, observations and personal anecdotes about the nature of grief and how to move forward (not 'on'). Props are used to illustrate crucial points and questions may also be dealt with during the course of these presentations but none of these talks is overly long There are also interviews, group work and feedback sessions. Power Point is used sparingly but to good effect. The theme of the day is Finding a New 'Normal'.

Public Speaking Tip #320: The desired outcome of a one-day workshop is far more achievable if you divide it into a variety of relevant elements  for those attending, ranging from listening to short presentations to practical activities, such as group discussions, etc. And determining a definite theme for the day will help you to plan these.

The purpose of my spending time with Kath and Mike was to suggest some ideas for editing, fine-tuning and developing their content ahead of their next Day for Bereaved Parents but I did listen to each of them delivering presentation extracts. As I had suspected, both are good speakers: unhurried, making excellent use of stresses and pauses and coping well with some highly personal and emotional content. They are a fine example of the effectiveness of two-handed presentations. I was able to offer some suggestions but these workshops are becoming well-established and the content and delivery is already excellent. I hope my input was useful; I know I certainly learned a great deal from the Coulsons and their inspiring presentations. They are now also delivering talks to church groups about this work and have given a number of radio interviews - all good speaking experience.

And as this is a blog about communication, I really must recommend a very useful web page to you. Some people avoid those who they know have suffered a bereavement because they don't know what to say to them while others just tend to say the wrong things ('I know how you feel' being a common example). The Care for the Family website features a page (downloadable as a PDF) entitled  'How you can help bereaved parents - things we'd like you to know'. It consists of a list of 'dos' and 'don'ts'. Do take a look; much of the advice could help you to communicate more easily with any bereaved person.

Finally, my thanks to Kath and Mike for the Rob Parsons book.
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