Andover U3A

I had an afternoon talk for Andover University of the Third Age on 15 July and I travelled by coach from Bournemouth to Basingstoke and then by train to Andover itself.

Now...regular readers will know that as I use public transport to get to my engagements, I often report on the quality of the announcements on the train or coach. I can only say that the pre-journey presentation by our National Express driver at Bournemouth was, as Americans like to say, a doozie!

Instead of delivering his spiel about compulsory seatbelt wearing, etc, over a tannoy from his seat as he was setting off, this driver stood and faced down the aisle. From his air of authority, I would guess that he is either ex-military or a former police officer (although his lack of height probably rules the last one out). He rolled out the usual content about seatbelts and not putting litter down the loo and said that there were rubbish bags provided. Then it all got really interesting:

"Right, mobile phones: I don't like 'em. If I had my way, they'd be put in the bag with the rubbish. I don't want to hear people using them. The same goes for music. If it's just about loud enough for you to hear through headphones, then it's just about OK. But if your neighbour can hear it then don't be surprised if I ask you to turn it off. I'm sure you'll appreciate that I have lives to consider and I don't want any distractions".

Then, after a short pause, he almost smiled and added:

"Right, let's get out of here, shall we?"

(I was surprised he didn't emulate Station Sergeant Phil Esterhaus from Hill Street Blues and say "Hey, let's be careful out there!")

But it made a change. I didn't have any calls to make and I am quite capable of enjoying a journey without any musical accompaniment so none of this bothered me at all although I can see that some would consider his rules just a wee bit extreme. Actually, I didn't hear anyone else complaining, either. Come to think of it, I didn't hear much conversation at all - perhaps everyone was too frightened to speak. I was changing coaches at Southampton but I wondered if this peaceful atmosphere would continue for several hundred miles to the north where the coach was headed! I was only sorry that I had to change at Southampton.

After about an hour's wait at Southampton, the coach to Basingstoke appeared to be something sub-contracted from another company: old, no toilet, no air conditioning on a fiendishly hot day, what appeared to be chewing gum on the seat - lovely.

I was met from the Basingstoke to Fleet train by Alan Burgess, the Speaker Secretary for the Andover U3A and he drove me to the new Fairground Hall, part of the Fairground Craft and Design Centre at Weyhill, a few miles outside the town.

There were around 110 there and My Life as a Freelance Comedy Writer got a fantastic reaction. There was a very good question and answer session, booklet sales afterwards were excellent and many members told me some great tales of their own. The response was especially gratifying as I have seldom spoken on such a hot day. But this talk felt a little strange to me.

For several weeks, I had been suffering from a problem with the whole of the top of my left foot. It was originally diagnosed as athlete's foot which had developed into a fungal infection (you're really glad you started reading this now, aren't you?) but it was later thought to be very bad eczema. Even for talks at non-formal occasions, I like to wear black brogues but getting one on over the swelling and the dressing was nearly impossible and would have irritated the condition even more so, as with the day before, I wore trainers. And as these would have looked odd with smart dark grey trousers, I wore (new) blue jeans. So the first thing I had to do was apologise to the audience for the way I was dressed, explain that I wasn't being disrespectful to them and tell them the reason.

Public Speaking Tip #233: You may well be better off explaining - briefly - to your audience about a problem, such as with your appearance, rather than feeling self-conscious or risking having them being distracted by wondering about it. This unplanned-for content can also sometimes segue seamlessly into your existing script...

I got a laugh by adding that as I have already had swimmer's ear and athlete's foot this year, I fully expect to develop housemaid's knee just to complete the set. But I found that explaining about the way I was dressed linked beautifully into a funny story about a recent embarrassment and, as with the WI ladies the day before, this got my talk off to a great start and the laughter continued throughout.

Another really enjoyable speaking engagement.

Alan ran me back to the station and the two coaches - and their drivers for the return journey seemed fairly normal. My only disappointment was with the Southampton to Bournemouth leg. The coach was supposed to go through the New Forest, which would have been glorious on such a lovely evening, but as every one of the few passengers on board was heading for Bournemouth, the driver got permission to go straight down the motorway instead (so if you were waiting for a coach that never turned up in Lyndhurst that night - that's why!)

A year of Nick R Thomas - A Public Speaker's Blog

My computer guru brother Jimmy Blake set up this blog for me and I started writing it on 14 August 2007. Including the Introducing Nick entry and the Photos which each have accompanying articles, this is my 100th post.

I would like to thank everyone who has been reading (and I hope benefiting from) the 233 Public Speaking Tips posted so far. There will be many more!

Thank you also to those who have posted comments, not least of all my fellow public speaking bloggers, Lisa 'Speak Schmeak' Braithwaite and Jason 'Pro Humorist' Peck. Then there are the other presentation skills experts in the blogosphere who have mentioned me, such as Jeremy Jacobs and Bronwyn Ritchie. And, of course, Andrew Dlugan at Six Minutes, whose links in his his weekly reviews of the best of the public speaking blogosphere have brought me many new readers.

The mission statement of this blog has always been

'Acknowledge, advise and advertise'.

- I acknowledge the bookings, the warm audience responses, the votes of thanks, booklet sales, lunches, dinners, unsolicited testimonials and help with transport.

- I advise by passing on the insights I have gained from preparing and delivering my presentations, or thoughts that occur to me about public speaking issues in the media.

- And I advertise my services on the web pages so a final thank you to all of those speakers, radio presenters and comedians who continue to commission me for original, tailored speechwriting, topical gags and routines and to those organisations who book me to speak as a result of reading this blog and website.

Please keep it coming! I'll do the same.

Odstock, Nunton and Bodenham Women's Institute

On 14 July, I spoke on The Power of Humour in Everyday Life at the Odstock, Nunton and Bodenham WI in Wiltshire.

Getting there wasn't easy. My home town of Bournemouth is still best known as a holiday resort (although the ghastly 'night time economy' of pubs and clubs attract thousands of young, drunken revellers who turn parts of the town into unpleasant, virtual no-go areas which don't exactly help with this) but we also have a number of language schools which are particularly busy during the summer months.

I don't mind the foreign students, after all, they are often far better behaved than many local kids, but they do make public transport rather crowded and the bus companies don't seem to make sufficient allowance for the increased demand. Thus, when I set off for this talk, many full buses sailed by and it took a ridiculous amount of time to travel about a mile and a half - by which time I had missed my connection.

I managed to contact the Speaker Secretary and she in turn was able to call the member who was giving me a lift from Downton to the Radnor Hall.

This attractive venue was hidden away in a lovely setting which I didn't even know existed but this WI had around 60 members in attendance.

As it turned out, I needn't have worried too much about arriving on a later bus because there was a lot of business for them to discuss at their meeting before I spoke.

As with Sturminster Newton a couple of weeks earlier, there was a report from the national AGM in Liverpool and it was interesting to contrast the two accounts: which speakers had been well-received (Sandi Toksvig's speech had been hugely enjoyed) and which had rather lost their (five-figure) audience, some of whom had travelled hundreds of miles to be at the event (the delegates from Dorset and Wiltshire certainly had).

Public Speaking Tip #232: Speakers should bear in mind that audiences have often had to put in far more time and effort to be at the event than they have!

My talk went extremely well, in fact it was one of those where the laughter occupies so much time that I am in danger of overrunning. A really super morning - once the travel problems were behind me. But then a speaking engagement can so often turn a bad day around.

My thanks to Isobel for the lift in from Downton and Anna who ran me into Salisbury afterwards.

Testimonial: "Thank you for coming to our WI meeting this morning and starting our week with so much laughter. I'm sure you could hear how successful you were by the response from our members. It was a meeting enjoyed by all and we will be calling on you again".

Later, back in Bournemouth, I collected another run of Nick R's in a Twist!, ready for a talk with a large audience the following day.

And warmest congratulations to Jason and Helen of Copy King on their new arrival Jenson on 1st July!