My Freelance Comedy Writer blog

A few weeks ago, I started an additional blog entitled Freelance Comedy Writer. It's different from this one in that it's not intended to give tips. The posts are also far less frequent but if you have been wondering about my comedy scriptwriting, especially for radio, then you can certainly read about it there. Many of the posts are updated versions of my Radio Magazine columns, speaking of which, here is an article I wrote for the Radio Magazine Issue 762, 15 November 2006:

I Have Listeners Too

‘All he did was talk for two hours about his work’.

Overhearing the two London students’ discussion about some unfortunate speaker was disconcerting because the following day I was due to deliver a university lecture myself. For two hours. About my work.

I needn’t have worried. The crowd on the MA (Hons) in Radio Production at Bournemouth were fine (they even sent me a Christmas card) but audiences at speaking engagements can vary in terms of the challenges they represent.

I’ve been giving after dinner speeches, talks and workshops since 1996. I decided early on that, despite being a comedy writer, I didn’t want to simply deliver a string of gags, so my presentations mostly consist of humorous anecdotes and observations, although I will sometimes include topical monologues for predominantly male organisations, such as Rotary.

Corporate functions, business clubs and literary festival bookings involve speaking to all ages but many of my other talks are for older groups.

These audiences are always fascinated to hear about radio – they are, after all, a generation that grew up with it as their main entertainment medium and they continue to listen for many hours a week - but they can have misconceptions when they hear that a radio scriptwriter is coming to speak to them.

After asking ‘Do you work for Solent?’ if they’re a southern crowd (the answer is no but any offers gratefully considered), the discovery that I have written for national BBC shows leads some of them to the belief that I am an apologist for the Corporation. One of the most ridiculous questions I’ve ever been asked (after a talk which made it perfectly clear that I am a self-employed, freelance radio sub-contractor) was ‘Why aren't the BBC televising the Queen Mother's hundredth birthday celebrations?' I felt like a shopkeeper being blamed for the actions of one of his customers!

Certain questions come up again and again. ‘Does Wogan write his own material?’, ‘Are any panel games truly spontaneous?’ and ‘Have you ever come across…?’ (followed by the name of some technician relative of theirs who worked at Bush House  twenty years before I was born). Some I can answer, some I couldn't even guess at, not that my replies are always accepted anyway. I had great difficulty convincing one lady that having a large amount of laughter on a programme doesn’t automatically mean it’s ‘canned’.

There are many fond memories of classic shows among these audiences and it’s always a pleasure to tell those who haven’t yet considered buying a DAB radio about the current BBC7 schedules. A chairman driving me to a lunch reminisced about Journey into Space (as opposed to into Chorleywood where we were actually headed) and was astounded when I mentioned the digital repeats.

Much of the newer radio output leaves these audiences cold but then I’m sure that when they were enjoying the Goons in the fifties, there were OAPs then who ‘just didn’t get it’.

I must admit that it has felt rather pointless at recent writers’ circle talks trying to explain how to write radio sketches when there are so few programmes that actually welcome new contributors but in recent interviews Paul Schlesinger, Head of BBC Radio Entertainment, has hinted at a return to the ‘open door’ policy.

If I’ve made public speaking sound grim, believe me, it’s not, in fact I find it an enjoyable break from the solitude of writing. It also confirms the enduring appeal of radio because that’s the connection that often secures me the booking in the first place.

Just don’t expect me to know where Mr Wogan gets his jokes from!

So what tip can I extract for you from this article? Well...

Public Speaking Tip #223: As well as the 'if-I-had-a-pound-every-time-I've-been-asked-that!'-type questions, you should always expect the unexpected!

Before you look at http://www.freelancecomedywriter.blogspot.com/ you should be warned about the big scary picture! Along with the 'dummy' shots, this was taken at the Blah di Blah auditions which I blogged about here.