Blackmore Vale Probus

My first speaking engagement last month was about My Life as a Freelance Comedy Writer for the Probus Club of Blackmore Vale in Marnhull, Dorset on 6 May. This involved a very early bus journey to Salisbury and then a train from Salisbury station (where the ticket office was as slow as ever) to Gillingham, from where I was given a lift to Marnhull by Mr Alan Lloyd.

Most Probus Clubs are similar: all-male or all-female who have a meeting followed by a speaker and then lunch or a slightly shorter meeting and talk after their meal. There are variations, though: some clubs are mixed and some meet for a coffee morning but not a formal lunch and there are Probus in North Dorset - such as the one at Marnhull - which are examples of both (the very friendly Stour Valley Probus in Blandford Forum is another).

There were about 30 members at the Village Hall and my talk was in two halves (a bit like a football match except that the speaker and audience didn't change ends at half time!) I had decided that I would play a recording of a comedy sketch I had written but using the dictaphone I use to record my talks instead of carrying a bigger player with me on public transport on a hot day!This has been a wonderfully reliable piece of equipment (I have been using it to record nearly all my presentations since 2000) but it doesn't have much volume so I walked out into the audience and stood with it halfway up the aisle, holding it up and checking to see if anyone appeared to be straining to hear the item so that I could move if necessary. You will find that once you are fairly used to getting up in front of people, you will not feel too self-conscious about doing something like this. 

Public Speaking Tip #214: Look out for ways to adapt at a moment's notice so that the maximum number of your audience can get the full benefit of your material.

There was a very good question and answer session afterwards and I was given a lift back to Gillingham by a member who told me some fascinating stories about her son who is a dresser working on major Hollywood films.

Boris Johnson's election as Mayor of London

I was pleased to see Boris Johnson elected as Mayor of London last month. I don't really support any party; look at my profile on Facebook and you'll see that under 'political views' I've just put 'satirical' (and then when you've finished looking, mention that you read this blog and connect with me!) but I was delighted that someone who for so long has contradicted the slick ideal that the purists say public speakers must project could win in such a competitive race.

Many other bloggers, including Lisa Braithwaite, have written about how the results of Professor Albert Mehrabian's 1971 studies into communication are frequently misinterpreted so that generations of hapless would-be public speakers have been left believing that all their presentations will be judged 7% on content, 38% on tone of voice and 55% on body language. How intimidating - especially for those who are nervous enough as it is!

Well, look at the new Mayor of London. It's true that in the run-up to polling day, his style did become a little more polished and professional, but to a great extent, he still 'let Boris be Boris': unpredictable inflections, a slight stammer, gaffe-prone and sporting that distracting shock of blond hair. But there was also great humour and some content which obviously appealed to voters. And, perhaps not surprisingly, bearing in mind that I was a radio scriptwriter for many years before becoming a speaker, I too believe that content is hugely important.

Vocal tone matters a great deal too, of course, but it was several years before I really mastered consistently putting any real colour into my delivery - and yet in those early days I was still usually getting a very good reception, excellent testimonials, recommendations and repeat bookings.

And body language? To be utterly frank, I've never really cared too much about it. Obviously I don't slouch or put my hands in my pockets, I stand with my feet the requisite distance apart and, when I'm holding notes, I no longer jog them up and down in time with my speech (a habit which my first LAMDA examiner highlighted when I took my Bronze Medal; I still passed with Honours) but my gestures are, shall we say somewhat free-form!

Sometimes I see video clips of champion speakers who have won big competitions. They make extraordinarily well-rehearsed gestures at certain points, rather like those politicians who have been coached to within an inch of their lives for keynote speeches. You can almost see the cogs turning over: 'This is the point where I'm supposed to do this with one hand for emphasis; and here's where I do that with both to show sincerity and combine it with my 'sincere' face, like so...' It looks horribly laboured and artificial.

A survey a few years ago claimed that gesticulation makes a message more memorable (the TV presenter Gaby Roslin was cited as a good example) but don't worry about it too much; as long as you're not like the science presenter Dr Magnus Pyke whose wild arm movements distracted me from his message every time I watched him, then you should be OK.

When I get up and speak, I have good, descriptive content with plenty of appropriate humour. I speak clearly and (nowadays) with tangible enthusiasm. I project well. I use plenty of eye contact and quite a bit of (unrehearsed) gesticulation. That's it.

So what are my percentages? I couldn't care less. I'm only interested in the percentage of successful presentations I deliver - and that's very high.

The day after Boris was elected, he delivered his first major speech - and tripped on his way to the microphone. Just Boris being Boris. Maybe some people would have felt let down if he hadn't. He recovered instantly and spoke well.

I'm a bit of a Boris myself. In the course of 700+ engagements, I guess any speaker will have the odd embarrassment. I've fallen down while speaking in a very confined space behind a table at a lunch (and I don't even drink!). I've stepped off a stage onto what I thought was a wide stair, only to discover that it was a very wobbly trestle table, and spent some uncomfortable moments trying to keep my balance, looking like a surfboarder - in a suit. And I've delivered an entire speech, listened to the vote of thanks, chatted to audience members afterwards and then walked all the way home, only to discover that the whole time I still had a bright purple paper napkin from the lunch tucked in the belt of my trousers (fortunately, I think my paunch mostly obscured it!)

I extract the self-effacing anecdote - and lesson - from this minority of mishaps and then move on.

But what about that other terrifying statistic, the one which states that you only have 30 seconds to make an impression? Well, there are certainly times when you have to 'grab an audience by the throat', for example, if they're a bit rowdy or tired or you are competing with a lot of background noise, but for the most part, I start off pretty slowly and  then build. I'm not an imposing figure: I'm 5' 7.5" (yes, I know the old joke: 'This guy obviously wishes he was 5' 8!') and, also unlike Boris, I have very little hair: in addition, if I have a shave, I look as if I need another almost immediately afterwards. The visuals are not positive and I battle shyness. But when I start to speak, it all comes together in a positive way - and this happens over the long haul, not in the opening seconds!

Public Speaking Tip #213: Don't worry too much about what 'experts' say about non-verbal communication or instant impact. Just prepare good content, deliver it audibly and enthusiastically, try to be yourself and improve with practice. It's what I've been doing for 12 years!

Six weeks have passed since the election. Will Boris Johnson be a good London Mayor (whatever that is)? Only time will tell but he's good at adapting. Take a look at his appearances on Have I Got News for You? over the years on YouTube ('HIGNFY'). He started off as a bumbling contestant, only there as a figure of fun, became an amusingly hopeless guest presenter and then developed into a relaxed and even authoritative host. As I've said, it's all about practice.