Ignoring the negative minority

I recently met up again with Mel Mellers, a very successful cabaret entertainer who I have known since the mid 90s. Throughout my speaking career, he has been very helpful in giving me advice but nowadays he spends much of his time working on luxury cruise liners so I don't get to see him too often. He told me that on one recent trip he had heard an excellent presentation by Jack Canfield, originator of the famous Chicken Soup for the Soul inspirational books. Canfield had mentioned how, even if we have plenty of approval from people, it's always the discouraging minority who seem to make the most impression on us, even define us, and that we need to stop associating with them!

This got me thinking about how, even if a speaker's presentation is going really well, there can still be the odd person scowling, yawning, looking at their watch or even sleeping and, if you do that proper 'lighthouse effect' thing of sweeping around the room making eye contact with everyone, you can't help noticing them! Now, obviously you can't stop associating with them by having them thrown out (much as you might like to!) but what you can do is spend less time looking at them and more at the encouraging majority. Or you can try to win them over by perhaps stepping up a gear and making the delivery more lively for the scowlers and yawners or introducing some audience participation, such as asking a question to draw in the watch-checkers. As for the odd sleeper, well, I must admit to deriving a certain perverse pleasure from delivering the odd line a little bit LOUDER to wake them if the opportunity presents itself!

But the point is, whether you win them over or not, you must not lose heart and allow yourself to be discouraged by a miserable minority!

Public Speaking Tip #148: If you are making regular eye contact with the whole audience as you speak and notice the odd audience member who appears not to be enjoying your presentation, you must either:
1) Dwell less on them and more on the approving majority from that point on
or
2) Change tack in some small way to try and win them over.

Whichever you choose, do not allow these few silent detractors to become distracters as well!

Over on Speak Schmeak, Lisa Braithwaite has posted an excellent article  about the effects that discouraging comments can have on us, from childhood onwards. Over 7 years of teaching public speaking evening classes, I only had a couple of students who I would describe as unpleasant. During my first course as a tutor, there was one man who seemed to be negative and antagonistic towards me throughout the term, probably because I very gently pointed out in feedback after one of his early presentations that he was choosing content which large numbers of people might find offensive. From that point, he had me marked down as an ultra-PC, lefty pinko (nothing could be further from the truth!). He worked in horseracing and at one point I suggested that this would make a very interesting subject for talks, only to be told by him (in front of the class) that people who gave talks about their work (as he knew I did) were just 'playing the Big I-Am!' Well, fortunately I didn't take this on board, and I've been playing the Big I-Am ever since!

(Postscript: When the course finished, he actually had the cheek to get another student to ring and convey his suggestion that we all carry on meeting up regularly as a social group with me giving further  tuition - unpaid! I'll leave you to work out for yourselves whether this went ahead...)

Public Speaking Tip #149: There may be occasions, after a presentation for example, when you overhear the odd negative comment from an audience member, usually someone who doesn't know that you are within earshot! It may well be fair comment and therefore useful feedback but if it isn't, then, once again, don't let it get to you but just keep working at continuing to improve and carry on pleasing the majority.